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Radio Control Models - Jokes Section With Adult Theme.
   Puns : -

If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named Jack don't  yell out Hi Jack!

Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.
 
When asked by a passenger how high he would get, the pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'

Travelling on a flying carpet is a rugged experience.
 
The cost of the space program is astronomical.
 
An astronaut broke the law of gravity and got a suspended sentence.
 
If you get sick at the airport it could be a terminal illness.
 
Some planes are so cramped that passengers suffer jet leg.
 
During his air test a young pilot flew through a rainbow. He passed with flying colours.

An astronaut who fails on a weightlessness experiment must be aware of the gravity of the situation.    

Ms. Earhart's loss to aviation could never be ameliorated.

An astronaut wrote about flying twice to the moon. It was double spaced.
 
When astronauts die they run an orbituary.
 
To become a pilot requires a good altitude.

Airline pilots make many friends in high places.
 
The astronauts said their experience on the moon was out of this world.
 
What does a storm-cloud wear under it's coat . . . . Thunderwear!
 
His model airplane hobby really took off.
 
A spacecraft took pictures of Mars and Saturn and got the best of both worlds.

He became a sky diver out of the blue.  Before an airline changes a process they have to have a pilot project to find out if the idea will fly.

To be a successful frequent flier you need a lot of connections.
 
His decision to become a pilot was up in the air.
 
When you're wearing a watch on an airplane, time flies.
 
An astronaut gets to take a Turn as a whirled traveller.
 
When the plane hit turbulence, the passengers went flying.
 
The satellite went into orbit on January 1st causing a new year?s revolution.
 
As soon as the airplane was invented, things were looking up.
 
Astronauts work in a nice atmosphere.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
 
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
 
Police were called to a day-care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
 
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
 
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
 
There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab centre that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
 
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
 
A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
 
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
 
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
 
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
 
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
 
Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighbourhood and one of them was a-salted.

I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.

A prisoner's favourite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
 
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.

These are true from a Recovery Room
==============================
A 28-year old male was brought into the ER after an attempted suicide. The man had swallowed several nitroglycerin pills and a fifth of vodka. When asked about the bruises about his head and chest he said that they were from him ramming himself into the wall in an attempt to make the nitroglycerin explode.

================

A 50-year old woman came into the ER with a complaint of mild abdominal pain. During a pelvic exam the doctor found that the lady had inserted a whole chicken piece by piece into her vagina and then safety-pinned her labia shut. Unable to have children she was hoping that the chicken would turn into a baby.

=================

A man in his mid-fifties did a Loraina Bobbit on himself in a drunken rage and ended up in the ER. The urologist thought that he could reattach the mans genitalia if it could be recovered and if it was in good condition. The police were dispatched to the man's house and the search was on. During the search one of the officers heard a choking sound coming from the man's poodle that was sitting in the corner. After a brief fight the officer was able to retrieve the man's jewels from the dog's mouth. After inspection of the parts by the urologist it was decided that the man would need to be taught to pee while sitting (if you know what I mean). The officer was given a commendation from his precinct for medical assistance.

===================

A woman with shortness of breath and who weighed approximately 500lbs was dragged into the ER on a tarp by six firemen. While trying to undress the lady an asthma inhaler fell out of one of the folds under her arm. After an X-ray showed a round mass on the left side of her chest her massive left breast was lifted to find a shiny new dime. And last but not least during a pelvic exam a TV remote control was discovered in one of the folds of her crotch. She became known as "The Human Couch".

==================

A doctor who spoke limited Spanish was rushed to a car in the ER parking lot to find a Spanish woman in the process of giving birth. Wanting to tell the woman to push he started yelling "Puta! Puta! Puta!" At this the grandmother started to cry and the baby's father had to be restrained. What the doctor should have been saying was "Puja!" (Push!) Instead he was saying "Whore! Whore! Whore!"

==================

A 40-year old man and his wife were playing with some vegetables when a cucumber became lodged in his rectum. Unable to get it out on his own he showed up at the ER for some assistance. All he was given was some pain pills and KY jelly and told to wait and he would eventually poop it out. On his way out one of the nurses yelled "Come on back this afternoon. We're having a Butt-luck supper". (How embarrassing is that!)

=====================

An unconscious 36-year old male was brought to the ER with cocaine induced seizures. As a nurse pulled back his foreskin to insert a catheter (a tube passed through the urethra and into the bladder) a neatly folded twenty dollar bill fell out of the foreskin fold. When the man woke up and demanded to leave, the nurse gave him back his belongings and told him where she had found the money. His response:
"It was a fifty, bitch!"

===================

An elderly woman came into the ER complaining: "I got the green vines in my virginny" (Interesting). A pelvic exam verifies that she did, indeed, have a six inch vine growing out of her vagina. Further inspection revealed that she had a mass in her vaginal vault. It was easily removed and looked very much like a potato. It was, indeed, a potato. The patient said that her uterus was falling out and that she "put a potato in there to hold it up" and then forgot about it.

==========================

A young female came to the ER with lower abdominal pain. During the exam and questioning the female denied being sexually active. The doctor gave her a pregnancy test anyway and it came back positive.
The doctor went back to the young female's room.

Doctor: "The results of your pregnancy test came back positive. Are you sure you're not sexually active?"

Patient: "Sexually active? No, sir, I just lay there."

Doctor: "I see. Well, do you know who the father is?"

Patient: "No. Who?"

===========================

A 15-year old boy was laying on a stretcher with his mother sitting next to him. The boy was coming down from "crank" (methamphetamine) that he had injected into his veins with needles he had been sharing with his friends. Concerned about this the doctor asked the boy if there was anything he might have been doing that put him at risk for AIDS. The boy thought for a while then said questioningly, "I've been screwing the dog?"

========================

A 19-year old female was asked why she was in the ER. She said that she and her boyfriend were having sex and the condom came off and she wasn't able to retrieve it with her fingers. I went to the bathroom and "gagged" myself to vomit but couldn't vomit it up either."

================================

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. - Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

(1) When they're rich. - Pam, age 7

(2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - Curt, age 7

(3 ) The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
(1 ) I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing.  I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out. - Theodore, age 8

 

(2 ) It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

(1 ) There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favourite is........

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

(1 ) Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. - Ricky, age 10

WHEN INSULTS HAD CLASS
-----------------------------------------

 "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."-- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"Never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner
(about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -- Ernest Hemingway (about
William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."-- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it! " -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend...If you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...If there is one."-- Winston Churchill, in
response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Ker

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge. -- Thomas
Brackett

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame
them." -- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go ." -- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...For support rather than illumination ."
Andrew Lang

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -- Billy Wilder
---------------------------------
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend...If you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second...If there is one."-- Winston Churchill, in response
--------------------------------------
"Winston you are drunk!" To which the reply came...."Yes madam and you are ugly, but in the morning
- I will be sober!"

" If you were my husband I would poison you" Lady Astor
 to which Winston Churchill  replied " and lady if you were my wife I would drink it" 

 

Spooky kid

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying: "God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?" The little girl said, "I don't know Daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma."

The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said; "I've never seen you work so late,
what's the matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said; "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the milkman dropped dead on our porch."

Are you male or female?

To know the answer, look down!!!


Not here, Stupid!

THIS IS TOO SWEET FOR WORDS!!!

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

"That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?"

"Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark."

"How about transportation?" the father asked.

"I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know."

"We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it!"

Monastery Life

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first  copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error and subsequent errors would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, said, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."


He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the " R " ! , we missed the "R " !"

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"

With a choking voice, the old abbot sobbed, "The word was CELEBRATE."

 

Mental Test:

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.


When the director of Nursing became aware of Edna's heroic act, she considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. 

 

The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in his bathroom with the belt to his robe right after you saved him.  I am sorry, but he's dead."

Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.
How soon can I go home?"

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."

He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favourite flower?" Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Homepride, isn't it?

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.  An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...  The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; and God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.

The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."

Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"

THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,  he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a  piece of paper,

"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.  The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by  the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.- God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

For Smokers:

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.  One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Maude: What in the hell is that?

Mabel: A condom.  This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Maude: Where did you get it?

Mabel: You can get them at any chemist.

The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel." At which point the pharmacist fainted . . . .

First Graders

Need a good laugh? A first grade teacher had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.  It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their
insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are 6-year-olds!

1. Don't change horses..................until they stop running.
2. Strike while the.........................bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before.........Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of ........ termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but ........ how?
6. Don't bite the hand that ........... looks dirty.
7. No news is......................................impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a ............................... Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new .............. math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll ..stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust ...................................... me.
12. The pen is mightier than the ................... pigs.
13. An idle mind is.......................the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's .............. pollution.
15. Happy the bride who.....................gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is .....................not much.
17. Two's company, three's .............. the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what ....... you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry....... and you have
to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as ...........Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not ......spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed .......... get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you ........ see in the
picture on the box.
24. When the blind lead the blind .......... get out of the way.

And the WINNER and last one!

25. Better late than .........................pregnant.

Can I have a push please?


A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, says: 

 

"Please can you give me a push?" "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunken guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not! It's 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"

 

“Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the  dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband "Yes, Please!" comes the reply  from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk . . . . . .

Oh, to be 8 again . . . . . . . . !

A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.  "I'd love to be eight again" she replied. On the morning of her birthday he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops and then took her off to the local theme park.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: - The Death Slide, The Wall of Fear, The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, etc .. . . . 4 hours later she staggered out of the Theme Park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

They then went to a McDonalds where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate milk shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, her favourite lolly and M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
 

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed onto the bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly  asked "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size, you bl**dy idiot"

The moral of this story: Even when a man is listening, he's still going to get it wrong.

Spontaneous passion.......

She was in the kitchen doing the boiled eggs for breakfast.. He walks in. She says: "You've got to make love to me, this very moment." He thinks, 'This is my lucky day' and gives it his all on the kitchen table. Afterwards, he asks: "What was that all about?"

 She replies: "The egg timer's broken."

A few Golf Caddy comments . . . . .


Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"
*****************
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."
*****************
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
*****************
Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."
*****************
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all  the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a  watch-it's a compass."
*****************
Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good, sir, but personally, I prefer golf."
*****************
Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old."
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir.".

How Rubber Gloves Are Made

Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves you can remember this joke: . . . .

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked. "No, I don't." she says.

"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."

She didn't crack a smile. "Oh, well. I tried," he thought.

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"I was just thinking how condoms are made!"

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

(1) Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. - Camille, age 10

(2) No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married. - Freddie, age 6 (very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8

The below are all written by children...

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

(1) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. - Alan, age 10

(2) No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. - Kristen, age 10

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

(1) Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8

Whilst in China, an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom . . . . . .
 
A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.
 
Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.
 
The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
 
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it."
 
The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."
 
The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis."
 
The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion."
 
The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice."
 
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.
 
The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely rare disease."
 
The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do - my doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!" 
 
The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid Amelican docta, always wan to opelate. Make more money that way. No need to opelate!"
 
"Thank God!" the man replies. . . . .
 
*
*
"Yes," says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by itself!"
If you are considering selling up and would like to sell the complete package for cash, call Mike on Godalming 01483  421425 
Mike Burton   
3 Overbrook
Godalming       Telephone No.  01483 421425
Surrey                     Mobile No.  07711 524761
GU7  1LX                 
UK

 

email      mike@radiocontrolmodels.co.uk

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If you are selling up we offer an immediate cash settlement. With over 30 years trading experience we offer a personal and confidential service.
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